Who to Blame for Web Hosts Downtime? Funny Answers

March 30, 2008

sysadmins-message-to-customers.pngOf course system administrators. They know how to fix any of the server issues and to minimize downtime. But all they want from their bosses is to get very high per hour rate and then to be left alone. This is only a prelude to The Sysadmins price list. Check it out.

Find the whole Sysadmin’s price list. Check the bottom of the page – “Collected by & Copyright 1997-2000 by Esther Filderman. Feel free to link to this page but you may not copy it”.

These guys as so swanky đŸ™‚ They want to get paid even to provide a price list that says how much do they expect to get paid.

Digest of The Sysadmin Price List

* Calling me with a question – $10
* Calling me with a stupid question – $20
* Calling me with a stupid question you can’t quite articulate – $30
* Implying I’m incompetant because I can’t interpret your inarticulate problem description – $1000+punitive damages
* Calling me back with the same problem *after* I fix it once – $100
* Insisting that you’re not breaking the software, the problem is on my end somehow – $200

* Asking me to walk over to your building to fix the problem – $5/step
* Asking me to drive to another town to fix your problem – $50/mile+gas

* If you interrupt me while I was reading news – $25/hr

* If you expect me to tell you how I fixed it – $60/hr
* If you’re asking me to fix something I fixed for you yesterday – $75/hr
* If you’re asking me to fix something I told you I fixed yesterday, but never did fix – $85/hr
* If you’re bugging me while there’s another admin in the room who could have done it for you – $150/hr

* Explaining a problem for 1/2 hour over the phone BEFORE mentioning it’s your personal machine at home – $500.00

* Explaining that you can’t log in to some server because you don’t have an account there – $10
* Explaining that you don’t have an account on the machine you used to have an account on because you used it to try to break into the above server – $500

* Forgetting your password after it was tattooed on your index finger – $25

To read how much do sysadmins charge for hardware problems visit http://unix.rulez.org/~calver/funny/pricelist.html. Check also Advice to employees on the proper use of the System Administrator’s valuable time.